April and Mariah engagement session at Disneyland

Pardon me while I ramble.

Tonight I find myself.

Tonight I find my mind in flux between thought and emptiness. You know, the kind of night when you think about thinking, but just end up sitting there blankly staring into space. I can’t focus. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I just don’t know what to say. It’s a weird place.

Last weekend about 100 family members and friends gathered to celebrate the lives of my grandparents, and say our final goodbyes to them. Fate brought them together, and together they enjoyed 72 happy years in each other’s company. For me, all other love has always been (and always will be) measured up against theirs. Their love brought people together. Family, friends, strangers… it never mattered. When you were with them, you felt loved. For my siblings and I, Grandma and Grandpa’s house was a safe harbor… an escape from the anger, ignorance, and everything else that came with the crushing poverty of our own home. It was like that for other relatives of ours also. My grandparents were the glue that held our entire extended family together.

As their ashes scattered in the breeze, so to would our family. In a moment they were gone. Forever.

The finality of that weighed on me as I drove away.

Where would we all go from there? Who would guide us? Who would bring us back together? Would we ever be back together?

I didn’t get to think those thoughts long as I had a wedding to shoot that day with my friend Amanda. A welcome distraction. With the spectrum of emotions I had just experienced minutes before, it was not easy to immediately focus. As I walked around the property of the family home where the wedding was, I stopped and simply looked around. I saw beautiful flowers and evergreen covered mountains. I saw the happy couple’s faces when they looked at each other for the first time on their wedding day. I saw their family and friends talking, laughing, and hugging.

I saw love.

I smiled.

Later, somewhere around the maid of honor’s Klingon blessing, I laughed…

then I thought about these two dorks… our dorks… April and Mariah.

Remember when I said tonight I find myself? Bear with me while I do. What I mean by that is I’m still learning about who I am. Like everyone else, I grew up knowing only what I personally experienced, read about or was told. I didn’t know everything. I never will. The world around us holds more thought, experience, and feeling than any one individual can possibly obtain in one lifetime. I was not raised in an affluent home, a tolerant home, an educated home. As a child, I heard just about every stereotype and slur there is. Alcohol and ash trays littered many flat surfaces in my home. Somewhere amongst the alleys, vacant lots, apartment parking lots, and trips to the welfare office I made a mental decision… a determination… not to propagate the kind of life I was born into. As quickly as I could I tried to distance myself from all the negatives surrounding me, but I needed to gain more life experience. That would come. In time, I traveled the world, glimpsed into other cultures, and soaked up every bit of life that I could. I got married, experienced the joy of having a family of my own, and grew… with them. Just when I was feeling confident about my progress as a human, April showed me that I had more to learn.

She came out.

It was, in typical April fashion, not graceful. To be fair, has coming out ever been graceful for anyone in the history of coming out? It wasn’t easy. It’s difficult to try to explain the insane amount of emotions that hit your brain and heart all at once. It’s like being told everything you know is wrong. First you’re confused, then you’re angry because you’re confused, then you sit down and start to think, like you’re thinking for the first time. As a kid, you don’t know otherwise so you just take whatever comes at you as “the way it is.” Check in the box. Done. Moving on. Once you’ve lived a certain number of years, you get comfortable with all of your checked boxes. You say to yourself, “I got this.” I know how things are “supposed to be.” Then, life throws something at you that goes against all that. Obviously, April always knew herself, her inner feelings, her thoughts, how everything was “supposed to be.” For us, we knew ourselves, our own inner feelings, thoughts, etc. When those two realities collided it was a bit of a train wreck for a while. Rarely is it easy to stop your brain and tell it to go in another direction, but that is what we are all learning to do. Slowly… but surely. Like I said, bear with me. I’m learning something new.

One thing that did not take long to learn was how much April loves Mariah. You can see it on April’s little, round, Charlie Brown face. She’s crazy about Mariah. It’s not fake. It’s not forced. It’s true… like the love my grandparents shared. While it may be different from what I have personally known, it’s beautiful just the same.

When our kids are born we say that we just hope they are healthy and have all their fingers and toes. Why do we add amendments to that wish when they get older? April and Mariah, I know you’re healthy, and I’m fairly certain you still have all of your fingers and toes. For that, I am happy. For everything else… I am super proud. You finding each other has helped me find more of me, and I will be forever thankful to you. I can’t wait to officially welcome Mariah into our family with the paper and vows and rings and such, but before we do that I’m adding the following amendments to our original parental wishes. I hope I’m not out of line speaking for the other parents when I say:

Live your life. Be happy. Enjoy every day you get to spend in each other’s company. Although you may face phobias, negativity, and even hate in your life… endure… together. Know that what you have found is rare and precious. Many people live their entire life never knowing the love you now know, so be grateful to each other, always. Support each other through every accomplishment and shortfall. Have fun doing dumb stuff. When Mariah cosplays as Lady Sylvanas Windrunner and proclaims “I’ve walked the realms of the dead. I have seen the infinite dark. Nothing you say or do could possibly frighten me.“… roll your eyes, pledge allegiance to the Horde, then join her on her quest into the regions of Lordaeron and the greater Eastern Kingdoms. When April spills her drink at every meal, snapchat it for me first, then smile and invest heavily in sippy cups. Laugh every day.

One last amendment… when we get old, check in on us from time to time and make sure we are healthy and still have all our digits.

We love you both very much. Can’t wait for your wedding.

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Congrats to April and Mariah! There’s no denying the love these two have for each other. It jumps out of all these gorgeous pictures. You both are beautiful young women and I wish you happiness, health and a long wonderful marriage! Let the countdown begin to the destination wedding! Love you guys❤️

Aaaaaand I’m weeping. Beautifully written. Beautiful, fun and colorful photos! Congrats to the cute couple!

Excuse me while I type through my tears! The words were perfect and thoughtful and a testament for your love. I’m so thrilled for April and Mariah!

Congrats! April and Mariah!!!
Love the pics!!!

Well written David and beautiful fun pictures of their engagement. Congratulations!

All the feels in that post. Congratulations to them and the rest of the family!!

Big giant congratulations to your family! They are beautiful together!

Beautifully written David, and freakin’ awesome photos! Seriously, da cutest.
Congratulations April and Mariah (who, by the way has a gorgeous bazillion-watt smile)! Many many years of happiness and laughter to you both!

So. Damn. Beautiful. <3 <3 <3 Congrats! And might I add, freaking awesome photos! :D SO stoked for your incredible family!!!

Beautiful! Congratulations to April, Mariah and the whole family!

So much love in that post. Words and pictures combined. Congrats April and Mariah! Wishing you decades of blissful years together!

Gorgeous and fun as always. You guys are seriously the best. And congratulations to the happy couple!!

Beautiful words and photos, your family is awesome!

So amazing!! Congratulations to you all and that writing was perfect!

I love your family ❤️. Congratulations and Mariah is a very lucky lady so be joining such an amazing family.

Brought tears to my eyes, congratulations April and Mariah! Wishing you two all the love and happiness <3

In loving David style…..congrats and well wishes to your beautiful girls.

Congratulations and welcome to our family.
David – great blog.

So much fun! Big congrats and hugs to April and Mariah. Looks like they are beyond happy together. ❣❤️

Beautiful photos!

LOVE! Congratulations to all of you! xo

OMG! So excited for your family!!!

Something about these girls and your words… made me all weepy. Maybe it’s having my own son and his boyfriend and seeing the love they have for each other. Knowing that they deal with so much hate almost daily. May their love conquer and smother that hate.

What a beautiful life–love the interaction you capture. This session touches my soul and left my heart smiling.

Thank you for sharing the honest story of your heart’s growth. Beautifully written and now I love you guys even more! Love level has now reached ridiculous. Congratulations to all of you, but mostly to the cute lovebirds, April and Mariah! Love wins.

From the heart ❤️Could not be more beautifully written. Congrats April and Mariah!!!

I love these pictures! Not only because they’re Disneyland, but they’re so much fun and full of love! Love Wins!

Beautiful! What a gorgeous, fun and colorful post full of love! Congratulations to everyone

Your Ohana photographers post just came up on my feed on my Facebook and I thought I’d check it out. It took me here about your daughter, April. I am so impressed with how you put into words your experiences of childhood and the commitment you made to creating a different path for your life as an adult. I always loved your kindness and optimistic spirit! I look back sometimes on that chapter in my life, those years I spent with you as my friend, and even though it was a very confusing time for me, I remember feeling like I was spending time with a very good person! I’m so happy for you! You seem to have followed your dreams of being a father, a husband, and a creative person who brings happiness to many.

As a person who has come out, I can say, I’m sure your love and acceptance means so much to April. I know for me, I was 21 years old and I know it was hard for my parents but they responded with love! Many questions, but mostly love, and I feel they’ve been that example to me, as your grandparents were for you, of what love is. I believe you will be that for April. Congratulations!

This blog was beautifully written. Thank you for putting it out in the world. You’re very talented! I’m so happy for you.

David, you’re an awesome writer! We love and cherish what you wrote for us for our engagement photos. Congratulations to April & Mariah, love their love and their photos! ❣❤️

What a beautifully written blog entry with equally beautiful photos! Thanks for sharing!

Reading your story brought tears to my eyes, I mean you’d have to be dead inside not to tear up a little, right? ;-) Either way, I can relate. Beautiful couple, big congrats to them!

Thank you for the lovely read that left me blurry with tears as I stared at my phone on the commute home. It’s an especially beautiful post and I’m proud to brag that you captured our engagement and wedding! ❤️

These are beautiful! I still think our Disneyland shoot with you was our favorite of the past 6 years! <3

Oh my, this was beautiful. My thoughts exactly, “we just hope they are healthy and have all their fingers and toes.” I hope when my children grow I have the strength not to add amendments. I pray that these beautiful girl’s of yours don’t ever have to encounter the hate that has plagued our world these last few weeks, and are free to live and love. Blessings to you all.

How nerdy is it to admit I know where every picture was taken. :-P Aside that, these are so cute, colorful and crazy! I would have preferred the word silly, but it didn’t start with a c. I love all the details, the props and how you captured a realness. You can feel their happiness through these pictures. Congratulations to them!

I loved each and every photo! Congratulations to the wonderful couple. Absolutely feel as though I was there through the photos. Many happy years to you ladies! <3

Everything about these are beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

LOVE LOVE LOVE and SUPER HEART the ones with the balloons!

This post suffers from plagiarism ;P; by contrast, your blog is authentic, beautiful, hysterical, honest, and lovely – inspirational from the start, ✍written from the heart♥️, captured with your art, Congrats April and Mariah!!! *LoveIsLoveIsLoveIsLove
*parentgoals *LiveLaughLove

I love these… I see your heart and can feel emotion in these even when it’s not intentional. Your writing is exceptional and really added to the feel of these photos.

Reading this made me cry. Awesomely inspirational…as always. ❤️

I more than love these, I LURVE them. :)

By far…my favorite post you have ever done. Just makes me adore you and your family all the more! Love is Love, plain and simple. And oh how much fun you guys are going to have!!!!

Very beautiful! David I myself went through this a few years ago with my son. He had to teach me as well that what is normal to me isn’t in fact normal to the next person!!! I loved your story! Brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing this with me!!!

What a silly and lovely couple! They are so cute and clearly have fun together!

These are darling! These would make for a lovely colorful picture book!

This post is beautiful, these shots are just gorgeous, and these ladies are some grade A-dorkable nerds, and I love it all. :D Many happy years to you! <3

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